Running at night

It’s nice, it’s cool, there isn’t much ambient noise, so if you have headphones in, all you hear is your background music and the easy ragged breathes when your feet tap the ground, over and over.

My mind wanders freely when I run, hood pulled up, the internal heat building up in my head and chest, ventilation lacking, warming me. I don’t know if it’s because my brain is focusing on something else, but it seems to let it’s walls down when I run. Things I either consciously or subconsciously keep down rise to the surface.

“Was I not good enough for her, is she happy now? With who?”

“Am I kidding myself with this job, what I think I can make out of it?”

“Where does my time go? Am I just a prisoner carving dashes the wall, waiting for for my time to be up?”

“Am I lonely, or comfortable being alone?”

Yep, running is the time for angst. It’s good though, it gets it out of the way and I go back to living my smiley, unobserved life, self doubt a little tamed by another few kilometres on black asphalt under flickering lights.

 

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